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Thank you for the difference you have made in the quality of my life over this last year!

I began writing this letter with words and thoughts that described my life-situation as something unique, one-of-a-kind and particularly difficult that I have “overcome”. (With plenty of verbiage about strength, winning and struggling thrown in.) But, the truth is that my situation is no different, no more difficult than anyone’s and that what I have experienced using the Simple Method has had nothing to do with those “ego driven” descriptions I used to give to those challenges we all encounter.

That’s the beauty. It is simply a letting- go. Though it does take practice, the practice is in taking life easy.

Though I have had more incredible experiences, even miracles, occur than I count… (and perhaps I just notice the miracles more often)…since using the Simple Method, I have two stories I would like to share.

Story I (Note: Story II is in the "Manage Your Health" section.)

My relationship with my mother has been very strained, for more than ¾ of my life. I won’t go into details here, but our relationship has been one involving physical violence, abusive language, not speaking for months and months, the whole gamut of activity obvious in unhealthy relationships.  It was so bad, that whenever I saw my mother, every “fear” response my body could have would take over and I did not find it possible to speak or respond in a “normal” way until I had been around her for several minutes and my mind and body could be certain I was in no danger.

Keep in mind that I was clearly in no danger. But, old patterns, old habits of reacting from the past would come forward when I was around her and my responses from past incidents would create my actions in the present. It was not logical and it appeared I had no control. There was no room for anything “new” to happen. We just kept playing out the same resentments, hurts, arguments and emotions over and over again.

By the time I started using the Simple Method, I had convinced myself I had “forgiven” my mother. But, in order to keep from having to forgive her over and over again – ( does that sound like forgiveness?) – I would just avoid her. And, yes, every now and then I would feel “guilty” and call her up, just to have the cycle start again. This had gone on for over 20 years.

Our pattern had been that she would call and start a fight whenever she felt her feelings had been hurt.  My reaction had been to withhold even more, criticizing her for demanding my “love” show up for her the way she wanted it, instead of just accepting what I was willing to give.

As you coached me through the method, releasing emotions I had stored, letting go of those old habits and patterns…it came to me that my Mom wanted nothing more from me that I wanted from her: love, respect, and acceptance. And that though I was ever-critical of her behavior, hers was no different than mine. We were just the same.

I let go of resistance and resentment. I cried as I realized that she had put herself where she was for me. She was here in my life to help me learn this. She loved me as much or more than I had ever wished or dreamed she could. It was during this revelation that she called…out of the blue, at that moment.

As I answered the call and listened to her speak I noticed that I was at ease. I could laugh readily at her jokes. The little voice that used to pop up in my head, full of criticism, full of fear or revenge or wanting to get even, was gone. I listened and watched. Expectation of any kind was gone. I was purely enjoying the moment, listening to who my Mom really is. Not who my ego had made her up to be.

Though we still don’t spend a lot of time together, I can enjoy the moments I am with her, completely. And when old languaging creeps in that begins to tweak my ego, I recognize it immediately and can release those emotions instantly, to return to the present moment. I am no longer chained to the past. I have been freed to start a new relationship with my mom. And it takes a lot less energy.